Community Sharing - Eli Aukerman

*Listen to the audio version by clicking here.

I cannot give you the Metropolitan Tower;

I cannot give you heaven;

Nor the nine Visigoth crowns in the Cluny Museum;

Nor happiness, even.

But I can give you a very small purse

Made out of field-mouse skin,

With a painted picture of the universe

And seven blue tears therein.

I cannot give you the Island of Capri;

I cannot give you beauty;

Nor bake you marvellous crusty cherry pies

With love and duty.

But I can give you a  very little locket

Made out of wildcat hide:

Put it in your left-hand pocket

And never look inside.

~Parting Gift by Elinor Wylie (submitted by Eli)

This is Community Celebrating The Art of Living

Today we’re talking about Eli Aukerman. One way that Eli celebrates his one wild and precious life is by reading and writing poetry, and here’s more of the story…

My Kia crunches into a snow covered parking spot just across the street from Dainty Maid Food Hall. I squeeze out of my car and make my way across the street and down the sidewalk, my chunky combat boots leave a trail of slushy footprints behind me. I open the black, heavy wood door and lightly stomp the snow from my boots. Although the downtown is somewhat quiet today, as the door glides closed and shuts behind me, I can hear the shift from outdoors to the sound of cushioned peace inside.

I see Eli at the coffee bar talking with a friend. I wave to him and we take a seat at one of the sturdy wooden tables. Eli orders us each a coffee. I take mine with the house sweet cream and nutmeg. 

A while back I had asked Eli if we could talk sometime since I found out that he had started reading poetry as a new creative endeavor. That’s essentially all I knew at the time, but when someone has a new interest in an art form, I know there’s usually a story underneath. And I really wanted to hear it. 

After I spilled some of my coffee and Eli ran to get napkins and cleaned up my mess (sorry, Eli!), we started talking. The conversation was easy and Eli’s story around poetry took form. It still amazes me how one simple fact about someone can have such a wide variety of influences and depth. How one facet of our personality is shaped by one hundred other facets of ourselves and our experiences.  

Eli added the facet of poetry into his life sometime within the past year. A few of his closest friends create rap music and poetry is a large part of that. He was inspired by his friends and started experimenting with writing poetry. He knew that one of the best ways to become adept at writing is by reading, so he bought a few poetry books. 

A strict schedule of when to read and write poetry is not what Eli is aiming for. He doesn’t want to make it an obligation. Success to him is to read some poetry then jot down the thoughts that come to him. That is success. Later he sometimes crafts his words into a more formed poem. Sometimes he never goes back to his written words at all, and that’s totally fine with him. His goal is not to write a poem each time. There are times when he doesn’t even have time to read first so he only writes. By structuring his relationship with poetry as play, it takes the pressure off performance. He feels freedom because his goal is accomplished whether he writes a poem or not. He can enjoy his time regardless. 

This past year may have been the first time Eli has bought books of poems but he shared that Ecclesiastes has always been his favorite book in the bible, a book written in poetic style with lyrical cadence, metaphors, and imagery, all about the human condition. I love that the through line in this story is Eli following the things that draw him in, that he finds interesting, things that bring him joy and make him feel alive. From Ecclesiastes to rap music to reading and writing poetry, you can follow his path brick by brick, interest by interest, joy by joy. 

Eli shares that the foundation for his life’s path is the love of God and that he’d like to be a pastor some day. We talked about love and joy and we also talked about grief and the hard stuff, how being human is all of it. He doesn’t limit himself to only positive poems. He reads uplifting poems as well as poems that are heavy.

Eli references Ecclesiastes chapter 7 with verses that tell us that it’s good to be sad sometimes, to think about death. Sober reflection on life, on what’s really important, refines us. I think back to times in my life when I’ve grown the most, times where I was able to strip away goals that took me farther away from my truest self, goals that society has put in place rather than what my soul needs to feel alive. The times that I’ve grown the most have been when I’ve faced death or possible death of a loved one. Hard times refine us if we let ourselves really experience them. Hard times point us to the things that give lasting joy rather than a kick of dopamine or an ego boost.

It’s not easy sitting with the hard things in life and sometimes it’s just as hard to see the beauty, depending on the circumstances. This is another time when poetry becomes valuable. Poetry is a room where we can go to feel all of life. Poetry takes us through those beautiful, delicious moments of joy and the heavy, hurts-so-bad pain. It’s all encapsulated in poetry. 

I take a sip of coffee, Eli laughs to himself and says he finds comfort in the verse in Ecclesiastes that says everything is meaningless. It’s funny because it’s such a paradox; from “feel the good and the bad, all of it is part of being human”. Then the Bible turns around and says, “everything is meaningless.” But both are true! It’s not this or that. It’s this and that. We can experience all of it letting the joy fuel us and hard times refine us, and we can keep our circumstances in perspective when we remember that this is all fleeting, it too shall pass and the only lasting element is love. In this vein, Eli shares with me this poem by Dorothy Parker called, Resume’

“Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren’t lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.”

That’s poetry! A light take on a very sober subject. 

Eli says that some people find the verse about everything being meaningless as demoralizing, depressing, but for him it takes the weight off of trying to have it all figured out. We all know how the term Christian and the title of pastor has a myriad of loaded connotations these days. Eli wants to live a life focused on loving God and loving people where all the rest of the rules are meaningless. In a tradition that has been known to focus on the letter of the law and ignore the heart, there is beautiful freedom in loving God and loving people and letting all of our actions flow from that place. Eli smiles and tells that Saint Augustine says it best, “Love God and do whatever you please.”

While Eli is talking about everyday life and reading and writing poetry as a way to experience all of life and share it with others, about loving God and not getting caught up in religious rules, he reaches for his phone that is sitting on the table. He taps and scrolls to find the verse he’s looking for. One of his fingernails wears a splotch of grown-out black fingernail polish and two of his fingers wear silver rings. He finds 1 John chapter 4 and reads about removing fear from our lives. Fear and rules aren’t the catalyst for a relationship, or they shouldn’t be, he says. Fear and rules control. Love frees. And maybe it’s my imagination, but I think his earring glints in the light as he says this. 

As we are finishing our coffee sensing our conversation is wrapping up, Eli takes a pause. In a thoughtful review of our conversation he speaks an overarching banner over his ongoing journey with poetry which is: He believes God is the divine source of love and created us in His/Her or Their image (whichever pronoun you want to use). So God is a creative being. He created us as a beautiful gift to ourselves and to other beings. If we are to go forth and multiply in the image of God, then creativity is a way for us to experience divine love whether we are making or receiving art. We can do this every ordinary day, Eli shares, through poetry, rap music, a joke, taking a few seconds to really see a person, or crafting a message of God’s light and love to a group of people, to name a few. Creating and consuming art is a beautiful way to celebrate life. 

I want to thank Eli for his time chatting with me, his authenticity, his openness to share, and being a ripple of light in this world. And in Eli’s words, I hope you all have the best day you’ve ever had! 

This is Betsy…

Until next time, celebrate the art of living!

****

This has been Community Celebrating The Art of Living. I’m Betsy with Betsy Rowe Art. It’s my goal to celebrate life and encourage others to do the same. If you have a creative endeavor that lights you up and would like to share, please reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you. All my contact info is available at BetsyRoweArt.com Thank you!

*Listen to the audio version by clicking here.

*If you’d love to have a friend (that’s me!) send you emails of encouragement, insight and suggestions to live a creative life, then click here to sign up for CELEBRATE The Newsletter. Or pop in here to the blog whenever the spirit moves you for a creative nudge!

Creating makes me feel alive. I want you to experience that same vibrancy!