These Boots
You can't walk the same mile in the same pair of shoes.
I gave it a try anyway.
Yesterday I put on these boots in an attempt to take me back.
These boots, now held together by glue and memories.
Boots the color of dark romance and sparks.
These boots that took a thousand trips with me up the steps to my second floor apartment in California then down those steps a thousand more times to harvest my dreams and glide into unexpected opportunities with a full-body-yes.
With an open heart I wore these boots and I lived. I LIVED. From exploring Ojai to find hidden, delicious secrets you can only hear about from the locals to dinner at an open air restaurant in Dana Point overlooking the ocean at sunset surrounded by warm fire lamps, the air dripping with abundance. The time was always NOW.
If a pair of shoes could share a human soul, these kickers would embody my essence.
Yesterday I slipped these boots back on, wriggling into the snug fit and free mindset of those California years. The sensation I felt was bittersweet. I now have so much more life inside me that doesn't fit into these boots. I have grown beyond them. Much higher. Way deeper. Now grounded in a formidable root system, a root system that has developed through opposition that I would not have chosen but has chiseled me and made me stronger.
Maybe bittersweet isn't the right word for my feelings as my current life spilled out the sides of these boots. Grateful is more accurate. Grateful I had the space in California to become more of the person I was meant to be. Grateful I was able to live in a place that resonated with the energy inside me, it was self-affirming. Grateful for the empowering experiences that are now part of who I am. Grateful that I came back to the Midwest when I did. Grateful I've taken the opportunities to continue shedding false narratives and grow into a more fully faceted version of myself.
Even though I can't walk the same mile in the same pair of boots, I can sure remember... and be grateful for ALL of it!
I'm retiring these bad ass, ride or die, leave-it-all-on-the-field-of-dreams boots.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go shop for a new pair of boots that fit the person I am now.
